


Waking Up Stories (A Dancemix with Dragons)

by sophinisba



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fairy Tales, Gen, Morgana being awesome, Parents & Children, Remix, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-14
Updated: 2012-04-14
Packaged: 2017-11-03 16:09:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophinisba/pseuds/sophinisba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Each parent has their own version of this story.  If they wanted their children to fall asleep, they should have talked about something else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waking Up Stories (A Dancemix with Dragons)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Selena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selena/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Here Be Dragons](https://archiveofourown.org/works/74736) by [Selena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selena/pseuds/Selena). 



> Takes place after the end of season 4. I made Aithusa a girl dragon, just for kicks.

"In the beginning, dragons ruled the world. The sky was ours, we raced the winds, and we breathed with the fire of the stars. The earth was ours, singing its song of metal, of rock, of the sea that nursed young dragons like you until they were old enough to fly."

"But I am old enough to fly already. I'm old enough to –"

"Magic was ours, for we saw not only what was but what could be; of the infinite threads of possibility spinning out from every moment, we selected the most beautiful and wove them into new tapestries. In this, we were aided by our servants, the ones we had shaped from clay and given the ability to move: the humans."

"Now I have my own human! Will she be my servant?"

"Hush, Aithusa. You have much to learn before you can command anyone. And humans were never as easily controlled as we wanted to believe. Look, she stirs. Go to sleep now, I'll continue this story another time."

Morgana rolled over and covered her ears, but she wasn't about to fall asleep, not here.

* * *

"Once, there was no law in this land. All the people were just as wild as the beasts. They lived in tents or slept under the open sky, hunting game in the forest and the fields, grubbing up what roots they could find and climbing in the trees like rodents, because they could not grow food for themselves. Dragons and horses, sorcerers and common criminals roamed as freely as the birds and rats do now."

"So…" Arthur said slowly, "magic has always existed?"

"Of course," said Morgana. "Everyone knows that."

"You are too harsh, Morgana," Uther chided. "Remember that Arthur has been lucky enough to grow up in a kingdom where magic is rare and shameful.

"It's true, son. Magic has existed from the beginning, along with its kin, chaos and evil. But that does not mean it will always be so. Dragons and other beasts existed before men, and wild men were here before noblemen and princes. For centuries, humans served the dragons because the dragons were larger, more powerful and more ruthless. But by serving them they learned their ways and learned to be clever. There was one man in particular, called Ashkanar, who lived a thousand years ago, who left the dragons when he understood how evil they were. But then he went back to the dragon's lair and stole away the three eggs it had lain. The dragon searched and searched for them, but Ashkanar had hidden the eggs in a high tower where the clumsy beasts were too big to enter.

"'I will return them to you,' he said, 'and they will hatch and go on to live out their own long lives, but only if you swear that whatever happens, you and your descendents will obey me and mine. You must never harm us, but listen to our words and let us rule you.'"

"The dragon wouldn't do it," Arthur whispered, "she wouldn't give up the whole future."

"People will make desperate bargains when it comes to their children, Arthur. And so will dragons. But it is thanks to Ashkanar and the foolish dragon that we have kings among men, for our ancestors and even you and I came down from him. We have taken our place as the rulers of this land, and our position becomes stronger year by year. When I was a boy, dragons still roamed the sky, and witches and warlocks practised their magic openly. Oh, they pretended to be our subjects, but they held so much power that they were like kings and queens. Things are different now. All the dragons have been slain –"

"Did _you_ slay them?" asked Arthur.

"With my knights, yes, we killed them all, and most of the sorcerers as well. Those few that remain hide like the cowards they are. The people live orderly lives in prosperous towns. They know that they will be protected as long as they serve us faithfully, and they know the consequences for those who disobey. In your own reign, Arthur, I believe you will see magic vanquished forever, but only if every last person understands that the king's word is law. When you become king, you will use your judgment to determine what is right. But until then you must always defer to me. This is the most important thing you can do as the prince of Camelot, to set an example for our people."

"Of course, father."

"Good. Are you ready to sleep now?"

"I think so." Arthur hesitated. "Does not questioning the king mean I shouldn't ask you questions?"

Morgana rolled her eyes while Uther chuckled. "No, Arthur," he said. "If there's something you want to know you may ask. And if you're ever unsure about whether to say something, this is the best time, when it's just us family."

"I…why do we have a dragon in our family crest then? Why is it in our name?"

Uther smiled in what Morgana guessed was relief. "Pendragon is the head of the dragons, the one who controls them. And the dragon's head in our crest is bowed, for it submits to us."

"Like the mother dragon did for Ashkanar."

"Yes. For he returned two of her eggs, but he always kept the third hidden, and in that way he always kept power over her."

"He tricked her!"

"Indeed. And he was right to do so, for there are no kings among dragons and never will be, just as there are none among sorcerers. They may bow their heads one moment but they'll scorch you with their fire in the next. Their oaths are not to be trusted. Do you understand?"

Arthur nodded, and Uther kissed him good night. "Now, Morgana," he said, coming to sit by her bed. "Have I told you the story about the beautiful young woman who married a sorcerer?"

He had, but she let him tell it again, how the warlock had promised the woman eternal youth, but with his magic he had slowly drained away all her life and beauty, taking it for himself and leaving nothing in her place but a grey shadow to follow him around the town.

He spoke in warning tones, but Morgana knew she was in no danger because she had no intention of getting married (unless perhaps it was to Arthur, since she already knew how to handle him). Uther held her on his lap and Morgana kept quiet, her finger tracing the embroidered dragon on his tunic. It seemed to her that its head was not bent any lower or more submissively than any other animal's. Of course, considering that she'd never seen a real dragon, it was somewhat difficult to tell.

When Uther finished with his story he laid her to bed and wished her sweet dreams. "Don't worry," she whispered, "I'll never love any other man but you."

She thought he would be moved by her promise of fealty, but he only laughed and laid a soft kiss on her forehead. "When the time comes, Morgana, I know you'll choose wisely and make me proud."

Morgana's dreams were never sweet, but in those days they weren't completely dark either. They did not repeat themselves insistently as they would in later years, teaching her that she was doomed to watch the suffering of everyone she loved. Instead they frightened her with choices and possibilities; every night was an adventure spinning toward a different future.

That night she dreamed that a dozen suitors stood in a line, each waiting for his turn to try to impress her, show off his strength and make his pretty promises.

The man Morgana chose was ugly and slight but strong and nimble, clad in the armour of a knight. She invited him to walk with her in the wood at twilight, but when he bent to kiss her hand she knocked him over and took his things. She would become a knight-errant herself, for wouldn't that be the best way to make Uther proud? Arthur could stay home and follow his orders while she went out and proved his power. She took the suitor's horse and rode out of Camelot onto a wide plain, where the dome of stars stretched over her and the land stretched out before her, dark and endless and beautiful.

Over the sound of the hoof beats Morgana heard her own name, deep and booming like something from the depths of the earth, but singing to her from above. She looked up and saw the dragon, clad in fire a thousand times brighter than the red and gold of Uther's finest tapestry.

"Morgana," the dragon called, "you must follow me, for there is a great future ahead of you."

"Follow you? Never!" she cried. "I would not trust the oath of a foul beast such as you. I'll slay you instead!" she cried, and because it was her dream, the weapon she wished for was there in her hand. She hurled the golden lance into the night sky and it pierced the scales of its breast. The dragon flapped its wings wildly and threw its head back in agony. "I am Morgana of Camelot, and you have no power over me," she called out as it fell to the earth, and she woke with a shout of joy.

"I slew the dragon," she whispered into the dark.

Arthur threw his pillow at her and told her to go back to sleep.

* * *

It was dark in the cave, and Morgana was doing her best not to be noticed, but she watched, the way they stood up on their hind legs, the way the girl-dragon in particular liked to jump around, her head bobbing up and down whenever she talked. Aithusa had never known captivity or ever followed an order (no matter how loudly her guardian shouted, no matter how hot the flames of his breath). And Kilgarrah always held his head high, even when he spoke of the Dragonlords' betrayal, and of twenty years buried alive, bound in iron chains. Perhaps, like the mother dragon with the stolen eggs, he had been tricked and had been wronged. But Morgana knew that he had never been tamed.

* * *

Morgana dreamed of Arthur being torn apart by a giant lizard (not quite as big as a dragon, but creepier somehow, twisting and quick) every night for a week. And even though it was her dream, but she was powerless in it. She held no weapons with which to come to Arthur's aid, not even a body to shield him with. Only a voice to scream, and Arthur could not hear her. 

Even when they were awake, he refused to listen.

And then he was dying, and Uther was the only one allowed to sit by his bed, to say goodbye and begin to grieve. "Arthur needs his rest, my lady, and so do you," Gaius told her pointedly, ushering her back to her own rooms. At least his hold wasn't as violent as Merlin's had been on the castle steps yesterday. They were all a bit more resigned now. A dragon's shout of anger woke Morgana from dreaming of Arthur's funeral.

When she woke up Gwen told her that Arthur was better, but Uther still wouldn't let anyone else in to see him.

Morgana went to Gaius's chambers, not really expecting to get any information out of him or Merlin but hoping they'd say something reassuring about Arthur. To her surprise, both men were absent, but a sick woman was lying in Merlin's bed. When Morgana came closer she recognised Merlin's mother.

"Hunith, what's happened? Are you hurt?"

"I was," she said slowly, as if trying to make sense of the situation herself. Morgana looked at her clammy skin, marked with sores and yellow with pus, but Hunith was breathing easily and did not seem to be in any pain. "I thought it was the end, but it seems I have a few years left in me. How are you, Morgana?"

Morgana shrugged uncomfortably. "Not – not dying, I suppose I should be grateful for that. I –" she stopped herself. She would not complain of bad dreams to a woman who had been so close to death. "Did they leave you here?" And that came out sounding heartless, because Morgana was hopeless. She never knew what to say to anyone, unless she was insulting Uther or Arthur.

"They said…something about debts, and oaths. I didn't understand much, though I heard more than they thought I did. I think Merlin tried to sacrifice himself for Arthur's sake, and something didn't go to plan."

"Merlin loves Arthur more than he loves himself," Morgana said. She wasn't sure where that had come from, but once it was out she realised just how much it had been _bothering _her. Merlin was Hunith's, not theirs. So how had he become so important to Camelot? How had he decided that Arthur's life was more important than his (than Morgana's, than anyone's)?__

"I know," said Hunith.

"That doesn't terrify you, as a mother, to think that he would give himself up like that?"

"Oh, it does. But I got used to that kind of terror when he was a baby, and I realised I would do anything to keep him safe. Now he thinks he needs to sacrifice himself for me…but I can tell that's not how it went. My heart wouldn't still be beating if anything had happened to him."

" _I_ love Arthur," Morgana muttered. "I've _tried_ to help him. I would do –" But she wouldn't do _anything_ to save him. That was the phrase the way everyone else seemed to be talking these days, but for Morgana it just wasn't true. "And I love Gwen, I think. I care for them, but I –"

"You're not the sacrificing type."

"No."

Hunith nodded. "I always thought I'd be alone, before I met Merlin's father. Other girls wanted to marry and I thought, I'd rather just take care of myself."

"Then you fell in love?"

Hunith pursed her lips, considering. "Then I found myself with child, and that changed everything." She paused again. "I told you, I love Merlin more than I love myself. And that's…complicated. Loving someone means sharing their joys and taking comfort with them, but it also means taking on their burdens, their secrets, their regrets. I don't regret becoming a mother, Morgana. But sometimes I…I do think about that other life I could have had, the one that was only my own, without… I think of how much simpler that would have been. How much lighter."

If anything from Morgana's dreams was to be believed, she would never love another person more than she loved herself. And her life was certainly never going to be easy. But she would not say this to Hunith.

"I decided when I was ten that I'd never marry," she said instead. "Unless it was to steal the groom's lance and his armour."

Hunith laughed long and loud, and her breath sounded perfectly healthy, better even than when Morgana had come in. It was miraculous recovery, perhaps even more dramatic than Arthur's. Too bad Merlin couldn't make some sort of sacrifice to stop Morgana's nightmares. Then again, she didn't trust him to.

"Help me sit up, will you, dear? It's been good to talk to you, but this conversation reminds me there's someone else I need to see while I'm here in Camelot. It'll be easier if I can go to him now, before Merlin gets back."

* * *

Some parts of Kilgarrah's story were obviously very old, passed down through generations of creatures who, unless slain, did not seem to die. Other bits, Morgana was fairly sure, were new.

"Now the humans grew envious, for they are selfish creatures, _like your little plaything, the witch_."

"Why do you say that word that way? Is a witch something dirty? Are they not good servants?"

"What kind of servant has this one been for you, young dragon?"

"Well, she hasn't done much so far, but I think she was sick. And she hasn't yet been trained."

The Great Dragon shook his head and continued his story. "The greedy humans wanted everything we had: flight –"

"I love to fly! Can I take Morgana with me when I –"

"Be _quiet_ , Aithusa! Twenty years I spent bound in Uther Pendragon's prison. _Centuries_ I have waited to tell this story to a hatchling of my own, and now you refuse to even listen!"

Now Morgana could see what a dragon looked like when it bent its head, chastened.

"They wanted to fly on their own, even though they had no wings. They wanted to possess the gifts of the earth, even though they could not hear its song. But what they wanted most of all was magic."

* * *

"The first thing you will learn from me is how to channel fire." Morgause smiled knowingly. "I think you've begun to learn this already."

"It's inside me, isn't it?" said Morgana. "I don't know how to control it, but sometimes things just…burn. Especially when I'm angry."

Morgause nodded, and continued her story. "Fire was the first thing we learned from the dragons. Once, they were the only creatures who wielded magic. Men and women feared them, and the dragons liked it that way. They would keep us in the cold and the dark, and if they needed our labour they would tempt and dazzle us with gold and jewels from deep within the earth.

"But among women and men there were always a few souls who saw the beauty in the movement of dragon wings. And among the dragons there were a few old souls who saw the spark in our eyes. We could not fly as they flew, nor breathe the fire of the stars, but we asked them to share their magic, and they brought a star down to the earth for us. When it fell it splintered into burning shards, and the dragons placed that fire in our hearts. It is what separates those of us who have magic from all the other mere men and women who think they own the world."

"No wonder it hurts so much," said Morgana, and quietly she wished no one had ever thought to pierce her heart with magic.

"You will make the magic your own, Morgana. When the dragons first put fire in us, they thought it would keep us bound to them as their servants, but instead it made us free. Now that you have escaped the prison that is Camelot and the lies of Uther Pendragon, you too will be free."

* * *

"When finally the man returned two of the eggs, he called them to life and they hatched. One had the form of a dragon, but her eyes were those of a mortal child. The other had a human's arms and legs and pale thin skin, but in his eyes burned the fire from the stars as pure as ever. It was only then that the mother dragon understood what her servant had done. He had made himself the father of her hatchlings, and from that time onwards – "

"Does that make Merlin my father?" Aithusa asked, with a tone of awe and delight that Morgana found sickening.

"It is a figure of speech, and that's not the point. What you must remember is that the oath of a human is not to be trusted."

Aithusa was laughing, not listening – it was a funny, frightening, hot and hiccoughing sort of a laugh. Morgana flinched away from it, and Kilgarrah glowered, but then, he was always doing that.

"Are _you_ my father then? Am I your daughter?"

"We are kin," said Kilgarrah, and Morgana stood up and started walking away, toward the mouth of the cave. 

"But aren't the Dragonlords also our kin?" argued Aithusa. "And aren't the witches like Morgana _their_ kin? Wait, Morgana, where are you going?"

* * *

Morgana lay on the table in Gaius's chambers, fighting to breathe, listening to old men's voices and thinking of Hunith. Hunith, who years ago had lain in this very spot while Gaius declared there was nothing anyone could do to save her. Who had stayed quiet and listened, rather than try to argue. Hunith, who'd come back from the edge of death because Merlin had decided that she should. 

It was too bad Morgana and Merlin had never really got along. Too bad he kept trying to murder her, rather. The king wanted to save her now, but what was he? Only a man without magic.

Weak as Morgana was, she had to struggle to keep still when Uther spoke of comforting the Lady Vivien in her loneliness.

"The people must never know who Morgana really is, for Arthur's sake," he finished.

So that was how it worked. Morgana used to think Uther had taken her in out of the kindness of his heart, that he'd treated her like part of his own family simply because he was a good man, and she was a girl who deserved to be cared for. The truth, it turned out, was that even a real daughter could never be as important as a son.

Morgana was not like Hunith, for she had never loved anyone as she loved herself. But she had loved Uther once, and now she knew that she would never love again -- not him, not Morgause, not herself. Despite his talk of "whatever it takes", Uther had his priorities. Morgana knew that she was not loved, not the way Arthur was loved. And now Morgana would die without love.

"I assure you, sire," said Gaius, "your secret is safe with me."

Then the men all turned away.

* * *

"Morgana, stop, you know you can't get anywhere on your own," said Aithusa, catching up to her easily.

"But you can. I think it's time you struck out on your own. That is, that we struck out."

"And leave Kilgarrah?"

"And leave Kilgarrah. Listen to me, if he won't call you his, he's nothing. Forget him." She was surprised by the anger that shook her voice. Proud of it and embarrassed at the same time.

Aithusa stared at her. "He's the only other dragon left! He's taught me everything I know."

"And how do you know if any of it's true? All he's taught you is to fear and hate everyone who isn't him."

Aithusa looked back into the depths of the cave and said nothing.

"Our parents tell us what they want us to believe," said Morgana. "But they've been carrying around the same burdens and resentments for so long, they don't know how to think about anything else. Sometimes their stories help us make sense of the world, but sometimes they just make us mad. How many times has he told you about how the first Dragonlord betrayed your kind?"

Aithusa shrugged. "I stopped counting before you came to stay with us. He likes telling it though, and it's fun to see how riled up he gets when I talk back!"

"You know the story by heart already, don't you?"

"Yes."

"I used to love a man who took care of me, and I loved every story he told me, even though most of them didn't even make sense. I thought I would grow up to be cleverer than all the people in his stories who were fooled by magic, and that was how I'd make him proud. Now I know he was lying to me all along, and he never wanted me to be as much as I could be. Then I found a woman to look up to and to love. She taught me a lot, and for all I know her stories were true, but they didn't do me any good once she died. I don't want to listen anymore. I don't want to go to sleep or fulfil a destiny or reclaim a throne or avenge a debt. I want to live."

Morgana was reeling with the shock of her own words, seeing her whole world with new clarity; but Aithusa reacted more or less the same way she did to anything anyone said: "I want to live too. I want to fly!" She looked outside but then hesitated again. "I don't think I can leave him alone, though, not after everything."

Morgana nodded. "You don't have to leave for good, but I think we could both use some time without him."

"I owe him so much."

"Yes, you do. And that's why it's time you got away. The nice thing about you and me, Aithusa, is that we don't owe each other anything. We're _not_ kin. Or if we are it's too far back to matter."

"I saved you," Aithusa pointed out.

"I never asked you to. I didn't want to be your pet, or your servant. I never wanted to be your captor either."

"Kilgarrah said you tried to slay him."

"When I was a girl and I knew nothing, yes, I thought I could, but I was wrong. He wasn't hurt, but he still hates me for it. Do you?"

"No. Do you hate me for being a dragon?"

"No."

"You won't try to slay me…or steal my eggs or bind me in iron chains or - "

" _No_ , Aithusa. Of course I wouldn't, you know that."

"Can we go flying?"

"Yes."

"And do you promise you'll –"

"I promise nothing. Now let's go outside."

The sun was a tired glow on the horizon, but the sky was just beginning to light up with stars. 

"Do you feel them, when you breathe fire?" Morgana asked.

"No," said Aithusa. "It just feels hot. It's fun, though! And the stars are nice to look at."

Morgana agreed. "How about we go take a closer look?"

They didn't need to touch the stars, nor to rule the world, but together they raced the winds. The sky above them was bright and open with possibility, and the valley below was rich and dark with it. 

Morgana was charging into the future, and no one was calling her name.

She could do anything. She was awake.


End file.
